Sneezing is SNOT cool

It's that time of year again, (and by 'that time,' I am referring to every time of year) when our classroom turns into a germ-y petri dish in which our heads are all bacterial colonies (Thank you Shannon for that amazing analogy). We might as well be rubbing contagious exudates all over ourselves (I have a love/hate relationship with professors when they say gross shit like that.  Who am I kidding?  I love it).  What I am struggling with is not how many people are sick, or who is sick, or the fact that everyone is sick...what I am concerned with is the fact that our generation was not taught proper 'sickness etiquette.'  I think that I learned mine because I didn't stop watching Arthur, Spongebob, or the Rugrats at an appropriate age.  That may have lead to my awkwardly long social life learning curve...but it did make me learn about the vampire sneeze (although some would argue that a vampire would not want to dirty their cape...) What in the crap is she talking about, you may ask?  It can be viewed here.

You also may be thinking: what is UP with all of these parentheses?  Who does she think she is? My response is that I like my sentences to be hugged.

Clinics are just around the corner...

Clinics are just around the corner and if I have to hear about it one more time I'm going to crap my pants.  Or cry.  Or both.  I'm not prepared, or I don't FEEL prepared...

Either way, I've started to come up with a few retorts when the time comes (and it will) in which a clinician makes me feel more useless than an ingrown hair.

1) Start over.

• Example: 
• Clinician: are you stupid?  you seriously don't remember this?
• Me: Start over.

2) So's your face.

• Example:
• Clinician: Are you really going to try to lance that abscess?  It's quite nasty
• Me: So's your face

Those are the only two I have come up with.  I can see them making me quite popular with those in charge.

Stress, oh joy.

Today was our second day of class in our one month semester.  Yes, you heard me right, ONE MONTH semester.  What's so stressful about that?  Who the crap knows, but I woke up this morning with a high schoolesque zit.    I'm serious, this was the stuff of teenage nightmares.  1 month of break and no zits.  1 day of class and monster zit appears.  Oh joy, adult acne.